Why It Is Necessary for Me to Own a Personal Sasquatch
The robber picked the lock, and the door swung open soundlessly. He tiptoed down the hall, being extra careful not to disturb the sleeping residents. The thief entered the living room and moved toward the safe that was concealed behind the fireplace. However, just as he was preparing to break into the stash, a large, unknown force grabbed him by the collar. The force then proceeded to throw the burglar out of the window and into the rose bushes. That force was a Sasquatch, and that is one reason that I want one. Sasquatches make excellent security systems. Another reason that I want one is because they have excellent organization skills and I, on occasion, do not.
The first reason that I want a Sasquatch is because they make wonderful personal/family bodyguards. One way that they help to keep their charges safe is by blending in with their surroundings. It is a known fact that Sasquatches can become invisible at will. This allows them to sneak up easily on intruders and catch them by surprise. Another security measure that the Sasquatch takes is to sleep with one eye open. This allows them to rest only half of their brain at a time so that they can keep an eye open for trespassers at all times.
Secondly, the Sasquatch is the best organizer on the planet. One way that my Sasquatch would help keep me organized is by giving me a special Sasquatch-invented folder to put my things in. This folder comes with a set of keys that open up the five locks on the folder's cover. When you open a lock, the folder's contents change. The first key opens up to school supplies, the second opens to your textbooks, the third opens up to a load of loose leaf, the fourth to a place to store assignments, and the fifth to a compartment to keep any other things in. The second way that Sasquatch will keep me organized is by taking all of my assignments and sports and things and prioritizing a schedule for me to work by. If I am unable to complete an assignment without going at least ten minutes over the time set for that assignment, then Sasquatch will sign me up for a little extra tutoring to make sure that I understand the concept.
These are only two of the reasons that you too need a personal Sasquatch. So, what are you waiting for? Go buy yourself a Sasquatch today!
Squatch and Me
If dogs are man's best friend, just imagine what a Sasquatch would be! Just think of all of the incredible adventures you could have with a Sasquatch, you could travel around the whole world with them. And you wouldn't even have to put them in a kennel when you travel with them. You could even use your Sasquatch to help fight crime! Just think of all the possibilities!
First of all traveling by plane with a Sasquatch would be great, while traveling with other pets isn't as easy. One reason this would be convenient would be that you wouldn't have to wait in lines at the airport. Because everybody would run away from the line at the very sight of a giant ape man. Another reason flying with them would be great is because unlike other pets, you wont have to worry about how they are doing in a kennel with the rest of the luggage. You could just get them their own plane ticket and then they could ride with you. What a blast that would be!
Another fun thing you could do with your Sasquatch would be fighting crime. One reason this would be a good time is that you could make your own buddy cops television show! You could call it: "Squatch and Me". Another example would be that they would be a an excellent partner in law enforcement. Who could possibly be a better partner then a nine foot tall muscular, furry, beast.
Overall, I think that a Sasquatch would be a wonderful pet and companion. I wish that someday I will find one in the wilderness.
Sasquatch Has Changed My Life
In 2010, the S.R.A, (Sasquatch Research Association,) found Sasquatch in Northern Canada in a large, empty forest. When the S.R.A found him, he was cooking in a vacant cabin making some delicious beef stew. It smelled so good, they just had to ask him for a bowl. Sasquatch surprisingly gave them a bowl and the secret recipe to bring home. Now this friendly creature shares his delicious recipes all around the world through his cook books. This story explains exactly why I invited Sasquatch to stay with my family and me. I think of him as a personal chef, because I don't need to do any of the cooking myself. He is also very polite and incredible with my child. Having Sasquatch around has made my life easier in many ways.
For example, every Tuesday Sasquatch cooks my family and me a wonderful meal. He makes us his world famous shish-kebabs with Caesar salad as an appetizer. For dessert, he creates home-made cheesecake that melts in your mouth. My son, Ronnie, gets so excited when he comes home from school on Tuesdays, that he can't wait to shove that delectable meat in his mouth! Not only is Sasquatch's food delicious, it is also very healthy! Since he makes everything from scratch, we get all the nutrition we need to stay healthy. You could say we're a well fed family!
Another way Sasquatch has made my life easier is by helping me with Ronnie. When I work late, Sasquatch is there to help with the Ronnie's homework and driving him to soccer every night. The only problem with that is when I use the car after him, I get Sasquatch hair all over my skirt, but it's worth it. He also loves telling Ronnie about his adventures in the great outdoors, and teaches him about camping, hunting, and canoeing. In fact, he is taking the two of us on a big camping trip this year to Northern Canada where he is from.
With Sasquatch doing all the work in the house, I don't know what to do with myself all day!
The Benefits of a Sasquatch
I was sitting in my lawn chair, sipping my hot cocoa on a dewy Thursday morning. The
sun was just rising, peeking through the tall birch trees in my backyard. I was gazing at the large,
gorgeous orb of light when suddenly, out of nowhere, it was blocked from my view. There was a
huge, furry shape coming towards me! I leaped out of my chair and started jogging back to the
safety of my house, but was caught by some big furry arms. I was lifted off of my feet, trembling
in fear. The fuzzy, strong arms held my shaking body comfortingly. I looked up and saw two
huge, friendly eyes looking softly at my sweaty face. This was the day that this amazing creature,
Larry the Sasquatch, moved into my home. Larry I became best friends right away. We have had
lots of fun together over the years. We love to cuddle every morning before breakfast, just as we
did on that first day we met. We also go on nice walks through the woods behind my house, the
ones where Larry lived.
This friendly giant and I love to snuggle every morning. I absolutely love to feel Larry's
fur. It is as soft as silk, as warm as sitting by a toasty fire, and divine to bury your face into. I also
enjoy the squeeze of Larry's strong and loving arms. It feels as if you are being wrapped tightly
by a warm, cozy blanket. Oh, I just love mornings!
Larry and I, the closest friends, love to go on dream filled walks through the woods. I am
always captivated by Larry's stories about his time living in the woods. Most of them are happy,
graceful stories, but sometimes he gets a little teary when he talks about his family. Another thing
we love to do during our walks is to gaze up at the sky. It feels as if angels are looking down at
us when we peer through the old and gnarly tree limbs. Those walks are lovely!
I have no idea what I would have done if Larry hadn't come out of that forest. He is my
best bud, to the moon and back and to infinity and beyond!
